๐ Working-Class Mr. Ahnโs Unscheduled Visits to Dr. Yeonโs Clinic continuesโฆ
Smell of Boy and Spice and Yesterday
๐ฒ Thanks, Jennie, glad you liked it. The expression came to me in a cafe, which did not smell of boy and spice, and yesterday (I would have walked out).
๐ฒ Hahahaha yeah I can picture that so clearly ๐คญ
๐ฆท I tried suppressing a smile while picturing Ahn Suho doing this aegyo. It was very difficult hahaha
๐ฆท I am also convinced his dreams are giving him a paranoid streak. The fears of the night are creeping into the waking world.
๐ฆท He can only function when he knows Suho is ok. Itโs very sweet, but also sad and worrying.
๐ฆท Yes, he can be. I recall him secretly following the Byeoksan class bullies to their rooftop hangout to wait for them to leak info about Si-eun. And then he punished them Big-Brother style hahahahaha
๐ฆท Oh, I can eat most things that crawl on this earth, not to worry. Makchang, Gopchang, liver, heart, chicken butts. I once had a hearty serving of scorpions in China (they tasted like grilled shrimp seriously), and visited a traditional Chinese doctor the next day. The man said I was โvery healthyโ and I thought โI probably havenโt fully digested the scorpions yet.โ (Or maybe it was this โfight fire with fireโ concept at workโฆ in mandarin itโs ไปฅๆฏๆปๆฏ. I gathered in Korean itโs ์ด์ด์น์ด? Which means now that I havenโt had scorpions in years, I must be in a badly heated state, perhaps hence my delusions.)
โฌ ๏ธโก๏ธ Ah ha I didnโt know that! Hahaha
Iโm probably very far behind on trends. I donโt actually read much BL (I swear, and I am not crossing my fingers and furiously blinking.)
I learnt the terms โoneโ and โzeroโ from two elegant and highly cultured people (one, a guy, is a concert pianist from Taiwan; the other, a lady, is a concert pianist from China. They are close friends. You just never know where you can pick up information fromโฆ) I remember they were quite stunned when I started laughing like a harpy. I had not heard numbers used like that before, certainly not in math class.
๐ก They were probably just doing educated guessing, but Dr Yeon would never know whether one of them ever saw the CCTV footage before he got to rip it out.
๐ฆท I love it so much.
๐ฆท I am an amateur writer, haha, but I probably read too much fluff. I was saying I donโt consume much BL, but the last one I read was a marvel. The Song of Achilles by Madeleine Miller. I was enraptured by it, and I found it entirely by chanceโsomeone dumped it next to a book on Zen Buddhist masters on a bookshelf on Buddhist History (which I was researching). Guess which book I bought? Hahahaha
If you ever have the precious time to read it, you should do it in English (which should be no problem, you clearly have TOEFL Vocab 8000). Miller can really write; Iโm nowhere close, and I remain deeply honored by your appreciation.
๐ฆท Very difficult yes haha
๐ฆท This is also so easy to picture, totally believable.
๐ฆท I have a feeling trauma hits whenever it wants. Poor Si-Eunโฆ
๐ฆท Such a beautiful bond
๐ฆท Yes. And I saw that in our previous email! I havenโt had time to respond to your detailed scaffolding, projects due this week, sighโฆ By October I should be free to binge WH1&2 again hahaha
๐ฆท Yes he can be one dimensional that way. Mmm so focused.
๐ฆYeah. It must have been a pain he pushed deep down. Probably gnawed at him even in his happier moments with the Eunjang boys.
๐ฆ Oh, I understand this feeling, haha, deluded mindsโฆ I have been fantasizing of another BeomJeon (BJ) alliance to rock the happy canoe. But this would need major work. Any scaffolding thoughts? What has dear Oh Beom been doing, and what of the unrepentant Dr Jeon, fueled vendettas?
๐ฆGood ice cream takes a while to churn out. The Italians believe it makes the gelato thicker and creamier.
๐ฆ I think Suho is his prime real estate.
๐ฆ Yes, do explore. Other dark arcs I have flirted with include Suho getting life-threateningly ill for real. Protecting Si-eun from accidents or BJ hired stabbings and sacrificing himself, etc etc the list is brutal hahaha
๐ฆItโs a pleasure and an honor. As always, thanks, Jen, for all your time.
Head Nurse ASL
The Night He Closed Up The Clinic Himself
Hi Asuka,
I once heard that God couldn’t be everywhere, so he created mothers. Made me go slap knee…
I think God couldn’t be everywhere, so he gave us Fridays.
A country where overtime is the norm, but not on Fridays.
Cold coffee. Lo-fi music. Rain falling at night.
And all these feasts you’ve prepared throughout the week!
Such a perfect Friday!
Now that Mr Ahn and Dr Yeon are coming into the world, if my interior design contributed even a fingernail’s worth, it would be an honour ๐ค
Look, the blog’s fanfiction menu already has 4 posts listed up.
Like a Scottish pantry, stocking up food for the long winter
It’s not that your niche fantasy is just “parked” on my blog – you willingly made time for this.
Cutest Potato
He was just staring into space like the cutest potato; on his right, Beomseok was churning with bitterness.
I’ve heard Korean fandom call Suho “young potato” as a pet name.
It’s like potatoes were born into this world just for Suho.
That was probably Si-eun’s first time at karaoke.
And that scene where Beomseok was churning with bitterness – it fed my cute, sadistic demon side so much I wrote a post about it.
But I’m innocent …
It was just Suho and Yeong-i, these innocent young ‘people’ and their song choices that pissed off Beomseok even more.
๐ A song everyone knows as the ultimate ‘flirting’ anthem. The WHC production team definitely outranks the fandom in little devil levels.
Paranoid
One afternoon Suho pops by for an unexpected, thirsty visit. The next he’s almost dead. This sort of trauma lasts for years and years, especially for the sort that aren’t used to talking things out. I imagine Si-eun becomes quite paranoid whenever Suho is involved.
This passage has been sweetly shattering my entire week.
Your touch on Si-eun’s paranoid keys opened up the dark interior I’ve always wanted to weave HAHA
As an extension, after ‘that incident’ happened, you described Si-eun’s little hero, his ‘hyung’, lying on the bed as meat. It’s getting harder and harder not to catch the scent of a seasoned writer from you.
Paddles
I have various cubicle rooms inside me, and in the one tagged ‘fetish’, there’d be paddles, right?
But would Suho actually use tools? This fundamental question popped up. In some ways, Suho’s truly one-dimensional guy-ness is both cute and sexy.
Would Suho’s pride be flexible enough to hand over what his ‘palm’ could perfectly handle to a paddle? During foreplay with Si-eun? Hmm. Delicious imagination ๐
The ‘transparent hat’ for heads is always ready in Suho’s house, bedroom, brown nightstand drawer.
And in the bottom drawer of Dr. Yeon’s clinic desk too.
Psychology
Without the joy of analysing the complex character that is Beomseok and deeply talking about Si-eun’s psychology, I probably wouldn’t have spent half this year carrying WHC around.
Ultimately, among my dark interior designs, the one with dark brown wallpaper is Si-eun’s unavoidable co-living with sticky boogeymen he dislikes but can’t escape.
Si-eun’s stubbornness about not wanting treatment, and our deluluverse college Si-eun and Dr Yeon, who trust that having ‘guardian deity’ is enough… Thinking about them led me to drag out present-day Si-eun, who suffers from paranoia daily, trying to sever the connection between Suho and danger.
In the actual source material… Beomseok takes the form of a boogeyman, and Si-eun lets go of his hand, rising from ‘that pitch-black boxing ring’
Si-eun releases his hand.
Rises.
Accepts that growth demands loss.
Learns that wounds need not mean ending. Steps across the threshold – boy to man.
Su-ho wakes.
About the conversation with Beomseok in S2 E7 that left fandom with questions without keys – this will probably be my final piece of perspective. ๐ I rewrote today’s post.
But deluluverse is another matter entirely ๐
Dr Yeon, as a character – a doctor who can’t solve his own biggest neurotic issues – is genuinely attractive and sexy.
So when you mentioned ‘superstitious feelings’ I completely slapped my knee again. That boundary between the rational and superstitious, fantasy and non-fantasy, is always narratively captivating.
(There I go, digging deep again haha)
The Vanilla
You are what you eat. Too brilliant.
Koreans eat a lot of kimchi. My ex used to call me ‘garlicky’ sometimes. Wasn’t offended at all.
Just found it funny.
I often caught milk… or should I say butter scents from him too.
Suho’s a carnivore, and Si-eun was barely nibbling triangle kimbap, so I don’t think his eating habits changed much.
But I have this weird headcanon that Dr. Yeon would eat a lot of vegetables.
Speaking of vanilla, Beomseok’s ‘head’ would probably impulsively milk just from those sweet boogeyman jelly lips he loves and hates touching his own lips…
(I’ll build some bricks about this scene someday)
(Dr. Yeon completely misdiagnosed. There’s only one cure in the world for Beomseok)
Jeon Clinic
Sighโฆ the day these two puppies snap at the same time, Jeon Clinic will go up in flamesโฆ
The bricklayer’s bricks haven’t reached Jeon Clinic’s exterior construction yet, but Young-bin must have wondered too.
You know those cliche romances:
“You’re the only woman who won’t submit to me” – Korean chaebol third-generation guy falling for a commoner girl.
Young-bin:
“You’re the only bastard who won’t grovel to me, Yeon Si-eun”
If Si-eun had submitted to Young-bin, Suho never would’ve reacted to Si-eun in the first place.
In the script, Suho comes off much drier, often with nuances of despising ‘servility’
That’s why Suho didn’t like Beomseok much initially either.
The Night He Closed Up The Clinic Himself
Toast to celebrate the Working Class Mr Ahn and Dr Yeon Clinic saga reaching Chapter 5!
What I specifically pictured while reading this chapter:
Also, expressions that stood up like fully inflated balloons and pirouetted around my brain:
Suho’s finger ‘playing with’ Dr. Yeon’s ear (obsessively targeting just one ear)
Watching Dr Yeon’s improved social skills is so cute and delightful
In his early twenties, he would’ve been that blank-eyed cutie potato receiving Suho’s harassment.
Now he conceals delight… Must’ve learned some social skills during Iraq deployment? cute
The thing spinning about 360 times around my brain: ‘coming in’
Right. Why should only Suho get to ‘bury’? Si-eun’s a man, too.
Need more time to polish this brick. Already tingling.
“Shit shit shit…” Dr Yeon, in his early thirties with ‘richer emotional expression’, tugs at a corner of my heart.
Look at his teenage years… didn’t even call classmates by their ‘names’
Two men in baggy sweats and hoodies: I even pictured specific brand logos. I’m completely imagination-sick right now (doesn’t help my life, but so entertaining)
Aegyo
Obviously this is deluluverse-tinted delusion, but in the source material, Suho definitely made adorable expressions toward Si-eun.
With Beomseok, he really acted like a ‘hyung’… A male subscriber on my YouTube channel even described Suho putting his ‘arm’ around Beomseok’s shoulder as putting him in a headlock. Said it could’ve been humiliating.
But Beomseok clearly enjoyed that headlock intimacy. Until Yeong-i appeared.
The script even says Beomseok ‘shyly smiles’ during headlock intimacy… Insane. Hong Kyung, who performed those script directions, is on another level. Such delicate acting.
My deluluverse interior design that I set on fire yesterday ๐ The brick about Beomseok hugging Si-eun tight and deeply inhaling those ‘vanilla notes’ through his nose – I drew inspiration from the ‘headlock’ and ‘shyly smiles’ stage directions mentioned above.
He remembered the scent.
Question
I am also convinced his dreams are giving him a paranoid streak. The fears of the night are creeping into the waking world.
So Beomseok.
Monotone voice.
Innocent question. As a patient. To his doctor.
Like an extension of curiosity…
But Si-eun-ah, are you certain I won’t kick Suho’s head in again?
(are you.. can you.. still don’t catch what’s the difference hmm nuance…)
Beomseok’s gone, who Dr Yeon thought was Friday’s last patient, then, but an unscheduled boogeyman walks in as the final patient. Even politely knocking on the consultation room door… With a smile hanging on torn lips…
Pretty dark, but… what thirty-something doesn’t face trials? Hahaha
Carefully approaching this since I might set this email on fire too, among the bricks I’ve stacked, how to crush Mr Ahn’s pride (I’m really mean) – the brick about gently trampling his pride would be Suho’s face when he realises Beomseok was the benefactor.
Because Beomseok is the ‘perpetrator’, the financial support he provided might seem ‘natural’ to Si-eun… but not to Suho. Poverty took his parents to Japan, and even when clinging to oxygen support, couldn’t bring them back – such destitution.
How could Suho not have insecurities about poverty and money?
Even Suho, as spiritually mature as he is, couldn’t possess that level of transcendence.
But suddenly appearing Beomseok radiates wealth, high-class at that. And Dr Yeon treating him… (McGonagall dances with her wand)
Function
He can only function when he knows Suho is ok. It’s very sweet, but also sad and worrying.
I use the word ‘function’ daily at work. Same word, but how can it feel so different?
I want to separate the soulmates, Mr./Dr. but feel like I shouldn’t, want to give them trials, but feel like I shouldn’t
Scorpions
Right, using heat to fight heat. Complete nonsense, but I think this captures the essence of Korean contradictory expressions. I’m confident you speak Chinese and Japanese well. If you can handle scorpions, I think you could digest ‘sundae’ and ‘the liver’ that comes as decoration on the side during your Korea trip next year, haha
I imagined Suho in his early twenties working construction sites, going to lunch with the site hyungs. For ‘samgyetang.’ In the blazing summer. Downing that samgyetang broth in one gulp, making that ‘uhhh~’ ajeossi sound. The money he saved that way to buy Si-eun a bicycle. So sweet. He also did clothing model work, this time wanting to buy Si-eun a scooter (in my deluluverse, of course). And the clothes stylists ‘dressed’ him in during modeling were all Beomseok’s taste…
I’ve never fleshed out this brick, but he quit quickly because every time he came back from advertising shoots, Si-eun’s sleep-talking got more intense. Without saying but,
‘Are all these people suddenly around Suho, really good people?’
Si-eun probably became a wide sleeper, tossing and turning. The frequency of kissing Si-eun’s head and saying ‘it’s all okay’ would’ve increased… So Beomseok’s plan to seek forgiveness through ‘money’ currency shipwrecked… To be continued...
‘One’ and ‘Zero’
Got it immediately after your explanation. These are ‘symbols’! Like pictograms in front of public restrooms! Of course, they work in our culture too – ‘private symbols’ haha
Book Recommendations, Buddhism, and Evangelion
I’ll save this for savoring the soup served on this weekend’s glorious table haha
Evangelion. Had the chance to watch it, but got intimidated by that epic episode count. But so many people reference it that I roughly know the content. Dystopian…
I read an interview where Director Yoo said he drew inspiration from Shinji’s explosion scene for Si-eun’s explosion. I included that in a video, and someone left a comment about Shinji – think that was you. I also thought your pen name Asuka was an Evangelion extension.
I’ve heard how disgustingly realistic Shinji is. Maybe Director Yoo split Shinji into Si-eun and Beomseok? Pure headcanon, but feels like evidence-level intuition. They’re twins after all…
If I were to touch Evangelion now, what should I start with?
Your bricklayer Jen dancing Friday Night
If his old jealousy returns
17 Sept. 2025
J: Imagining Si-eun getting dragged to karaoke by Baku and Gotak is so adorable…I’m melting.
Jun-tae would probably giggle while singing Japanese anime theme songs.
But Si-eun? I picture him standing perfectly straight, gripping the mic with both hands, chanting dance songs like Buddhist prayers lol
A: hahaha, I suspect Juntae is his closest friend at Eunjang, so maybe Si-eun joins the anime club. Maybe he becomes some grand guildmaster, the glory of the Eunjang Anime Club, famous throughout Seoulโs nerd underground for knowing the complete plot lines of 100 series and for having actually stabbed jock bullies, the natural enemies of comic nerds.
Hey it’s been a while
J: How many times did Si-eun imagine getting this reply… and then it actually came… so perfectly Suhoish… ‘It’s been a while…’
A: poor baby deserves all the happiness in the world.
He races ahead faster than ever before
J : Such a beautiful, clean line…
Remember Si-eun panting as he came in last during PE at Byeoksan?
A: He was mocked and then avenged by a flying shoe.
At first Si-eun smiles with shiny, misty eyes
J : Saw some comment (probably YouTube) going ‘Why are these guys getting all teary-eyed lmaooo’ Made me laugh because if that commenter was a guy, he probably felt moved by the scene but expressed it sarcastically because he was embarrassed.
A: Sounds like such a teenaged guy comment hahaha
J: Saw a tweet recently about Suho seeing Si-eun’s soup and saying ‘I feel dirty’ – that scene went viral on Twitter. The tweeter said ‘Suho talks exactly like a hetero boy that age would – expressing his crush on another guy so roughly, it’s so authentically what a straight boy that age would say. Calling his feelings for his male friend ‘disgusting’ – so honest.’
A: they really do talk like that. When I was in college, one of my guy friends told his other close guy friend โYou know if you were a girl, we would have f*ckedโ. And then they laughed about it hahahaha. Boysโฆ
He collapses against the bigger boy
J: At this moment, Si-eun probably said everything he wanted to say, so unlike his usual self.
To his hyung.
I read Director Yoo’s interview about this – Suho contacted Si-eun long after waking up. I get why… still wanting to look like a ‘hyung’
Still can’t walk properly but… my heart’s hurting again.
A: totally agreed
And before he does that, he reads every single one of Si-eun’s texts
J: OMG just wrote about Director Yoo’s interview and here it is…
A: yep, exactly hahaha
I imagine it took Suho the whole night. And that was a night when Si-eun didnโt come by for a visit.
(If Si-eun did come by, and saw Suho up and reading texts, and Suho just turns around and nonchalantly says โhowโs it going?โ, all hyungishโฆI imagine the shock would have been so great, and would have turned into tears even quicker. Kind of like those โsoldiers come homeโ surprise videos.)
J: Yeah, I imagined this scene too… Si-eun’s perfectly spelled long texts… maybe written thinking Suho might never wake up… like diary entries… like confessions… and ‘childishly whining and acting spoiled’…
A: I imagine reading these texts convinces deluluverse Suho that he will never be this loved by anyone else, and makes plans to shift Si-eun into his home hahaha
Incidentally, this sort of PTSD is totally real
J: Totally agree.
I don’t think anything in Si-eun’s future will traumatise him as much. In our delulu universe, Si-eun goes to Iraq as a military doctor, but even witnessing cruelty there won’t surpass what happened to defenceless Suho – especially Beom-seok’s kicks. They only knew each other for around 40 days, such intense emotions came and went so fast, in the cruellest way.
A: You mentioned Suho was already unconscious and wasnโt aware of the cruelty done to him, but Si-eun sees everything.
Itโs truly awful. The psychological wounds may never close.
Imagine seeing a video of your favorite person getting kicked to death, and heโs helpless and you are also helpless to stop it. Plus this person was someone you looked up to, someone like an invincible older brother and now heโs just become meat. To top it off, this atrocity was committed by someone close, someone you also loved in a way. Itโs too much.
No wonder Si-eun snapped and did his iconic pure-murder catwalk.
Itโs to his own credit, and also thanks to the life-support system that is the Eunjang gang, that Si-eun didnโt become institutionalized.
A: Oh my, that’s so sweet hahaha ok I’m sold
J: Si-eun secretly checking if Suho’s real while he sleeps… I think our personal experiences inevitably creep into our arcs HAHA
A: HAHAHAHAHA I’m honestly not sure how a priest would receive this confession
J: The priest would demand detailed recipes for why one puppy tastes like sea salt caramel and the other like milk.
A: Itโs probably due 1% to a healthy diet and 99% to winning the genetic lottery.
A: May your blog survive till the end of time
J: Such an amazing compliment, I’m not sure I deserve it. Thank you for your warmth.
A: Youโre most welcome, Jennie
J: Read that newspaper article, yeah, I always felt Director Han was a storyteller interested in systems. Military, school… now I hear he’s planning something about ‘workplace.’ Hyun-wook got cast.
A: Congrats to him, and to all his fans (including myself). I hear Mantis is coming out very soon on Netflix. I wonder if heโs going to be in a brutal death sceneโฆ
J: Both directors are clearly smitten with him. (Hope Hyun-wook grows as an actor who can show various emotions – love, pain – on his face… Your previous comment about people wanting sex appeal from him while expecting him to be a pure saint was so spot-on… If they want sex appeal, naturally he should love more and hurt more… but the public…hopeless HAHA)
A: yes, it turns out there are actually many people more deluded than meโฆ
They want Hyun-Wook to showcase his full range, but where his personal life is concerned, they want him to limit himself to absolute purity. Any kind of male itch he gets is to be purged with ascetic self-discipline.
So they want both Actor Hyun-wook and Abbot Hyun-wook.
Definitely some kind of control fetish lurking somewhere.
And now he faced the daunting task
J: God… I imagined this scene on an early summer afternoon when they start cohabiting in Suho’s old grandma’s house. This universe’s Si-eun no longer suffers mental issues from love-deprivation – he’s raising a puppy and being loved abundantly. This pretty, handsome nerd who learns everything from ‘books’ is so cute, still treating it as a ‘task’
No angle in the world will disguise the fact
J: Strongly agree that Suho’s popsicle costs more due to volume and size (banging gavel in court). Objection?
A: Si-eun admits the serving is bigger, but is convinced itโs not by 2 inches. Must be a parallax error. So he measures and re-measures till Suho almost bursts (into laughter.)
No it’s not!! And stop smirking
J: You’d probably agree… this is basically ‘service’ you can only do out of love.
A: Yepโฆ or love of moneyโฆ
J: None of my friends ever felt pleasure during this lol It’s something you do because you love them.
A: I think Suhoโs love is so warm, (and his appetite so big), he can even take an organic cheese popsicle. But Si-eun refuses to serve this dish out of personal pride. On that old grandma house floor, both puppies adore each other so much they’re tangled up just wanting to make each other ‘happy’ – so sweet.
Do I really taste of vanilla?
J: I’m curious too. Only Si-eun who kissed hyung gets to know the recipe? lol
A: Since the taste is still fresh in Suhoโs mouth, and unctuously coating his lips, the truth is but a kiss away.
This is what I call a Happy Meal
J: Wonder if you have similar memories – waking up in the morning, a bit drained but refreshed, going to McDonald’s for breakfast together?
A: Unfortunately I usually skip breakfast, kind of like Park Jihoon. Poor boy says he is too tired and would rather sleep. In place of Macโs, I have a very thick mocha with a large spoonful of raw cacao. Such a bitter startโฆ
J: Your Happy Meal reminded me of that…
So when they reunite after Si-eun’s Iraq deployment. (I think they grew distant while apart – so natural… Suho probably dated pretty girls during that time, Si-eun would be cool about it (both being guys and understanding guy things) I imagined them going to McDonald’s for coffee in the morning… like real dessert.
A: Such a sweet image, sighโฆ I think Si-eun is going to be quite clingy in his own paranoid way.
Heโs the kind who will check Suhoโs shoes out, not for their style, but to see if they are about to fall apart and become a tripping hazard.
Suho must be enjoying a very unfettered view
J: Suho’s eyes are brown, kind of walnut-colored. When he grips Si-eun’s ankles firmly, I imagine that walnut color deepening (improper but fulfilling…HUHU)
If his old jealousy returns
J: Yeah, early-thirties romance won’t be all peaceful… Anyway, my delusion’s low-key theory about them being ‘caged’ makes sense. Love violent enough to kick your most beloved friend’s head won’t change much with age – that’s closer to Beom-seok’s true nature…
Caged: Carefully approaching this since I might set this email on fire too, among the bricks Iโve stacked, how to crush Mr Ahnโs pride (Iโm really mean) โ the brick about gently trampling his pride would be Suhoโs face when he realises Beomseok was the benefactor.
A: I think Oh Beomโs going to have access to actual power and influence now, and may be a force to reckon with.
I wonder what he would do when he thinks he should be living the life Si-eun is livingโฆ would he nab and torture the Weak Doctor just to make Suho beg?
Begging is such sweet singing to a dominatrixโฆ
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