📍 Working-Class Mr. Ahn’s Unscheduled Visits to Dr. Yeon’s Clinic continues…
Building a Life in Suho’s House
Hi Asuka,
Before falling into deep sleep, I was reviewing our email exchange as a warm-up, and your email just delivered some happiness that opened right up before bedtime. I think I’m going to have sweet dreams tonight.
Firefighter Suho? That’s way too sexy.
Let me take advantage of this local bricklayer’s opportunity for a moment… Suho would naturally have gotten military exemption due to his coma medical history. In my ocean of delusions, they start living together at Suho’s house after his grandmother passes away – let’s set this during Si-eun’s second semester at Seoul National University Medical School.
Suho would have transferred back to Byeoksan High as a first-year second semester student. After 6 years of living together, Si-eun gets called to serve his country and they face an unavoidable separation due to deployment to Iraq. This setup is pretty far-fetched, but let’s maximize our delusional allowance HAHAHA
Si-eun’s exceptional medical skills start laying their foundation during this time, and somehow during his military doctor deployment to Iraq, he skips both internship and residency training entirely. So 5 years pass, and during this time they only manage to meet once a year in Seoul, doing most of their catch-up conversations… with their bodies.
And when Dr. Yeon opens his clinic, their romance enters a new phase?
On the surface, it’s a beautiful fairy tale, but when my stress peaks on Thursday, the hidden dark subtexts of this beautiful fairy tale might emerge. This setup is borrowed from the twisted psychology of Dr. Watson, who becomes addicted to dangerous situations and ends up limping in mundane daily life. Si-eun is also suffering from the same PTSD.
When my work stress reaches its climax, I’ll probably churn out tons of dark fairy tales. I might end up poisoning your boiling kettle HAHAHA
Hope you have a chill evening!
Your bricklayer Jen
Ah, what I meant was that as a military doctor deployed to Iraq for 5 years serving the country, he would have automatically completed the internship and residency periods that are mandatory prerequisites before becoming a specialist doctor.
And during Si-eun’s undergraduate medical school years, Suho works as a clothing brand advertising model.
Once he becomes an adult and starts exuding that masculine scent, there’s no way the entertainment industry recruiters stationed in Gangnam would leave him alone.
When Suho rides his bike to pick up Si-eun after late-night library study sessions, sharp-eyed female classmates whisper among themselves:
That guy… isn’t he the XXX magazine model? You know, ‘Sangkeumi’? (kinda pure figure)
That’s how Si-eun finds out about Suho’s side gig.
And once, Si-eun follows him to a photoshoot. Stylists, makeup artists… people everywhere touching Suho’s hair and face. Watching Suho being ‘handled’ by all these other people from a distance, Si-eun’s eyes grow dark. Si-eun still isn’t used to sorting through his emotions. He can’t even define them.
Only much, much later does he get the feeling that emotion might have been jealousy.
Well, it doesn’t matter anyway. Suho quit the magazine modeling job pretty quickly.
They never talked about why he quit.
(This was supposed to be a cruel fairy tale I’d unleash when stress peaks, but I’ve already spoiled it HAHAHA Now I’m really going to hit the pillow. Hoping to dream of firefighter Suho handling hoses this way and that… hmmm….)
The house is the only inheritance Suho’s grandmother left to her grandson after she passed away. It’s an old house. I want to make it the home where the two of them lived together for 6 years during Si-eun’s undergraduate years. I’m forcibly changing the setting lol so that it couldn’t fit a double bed, they had to sleep on mats spread on the floor.
On energetic weekends, I’ll poetically describe the old scents that emanate from that house.
This is the neighbourhood supermarket that Suho and Si-eun – who were ‘rumoured to be suspicious friends’ in the neighbourhood – used to frequent. Their secret dating way was buying ‘Melona’ ice cream there and sitting on the bench in front of the supermarket to share it.
Suho’s grannie’s place
I really should print these out and enshrine them somewhere.
I’ve already downloaded them onto my hard drive hahaha
Suho’s grannie’s place is a perfect setting for the blooming of young romance. So is the neighborhood mart. I imagine people whispering behind the boys whenever they go out. But when Suho turns around to look them in the eye, they gulp and scurry away.
Is this sort of BL still quite taboo or even forbidden in Korea? Or are there distinct attitudes towards this from different social strata or different generations?
One curious head nurse
I simply can’t get this slice of life out of my head.
‘Work ends around 4 AM. When he punches in their shared door code, Si-eun wakes up from studying himself to sleep. Seeing Si-eun’s messy hair with a few strands sticking up from static electricity, Suho smiles faintly. Si-eun opens his half-closed eyes and shuffles to the entrance where Suho’s taking off his shoes, wrapping his arms tight around Suho’s waist. Suho’s windbreaker is saturated with Seoul’s crisp autumn dawn air from the seasonal transition. Si-eun hugs that windbreaker – and all that air it holds – as tight as he can.’
It’s so loving and so real. It has been humming in my mind the whole morning.
I’m going to incorporate what I can into the soup.
Thanks for cooking, as always.
Head Nurse, pretending to work.
Hi, Asuka!
I was doing all that groundwork lol because I wanted to capture that windbreaker saturated with the chilly transitional autumn air lol
I’m glad you liked it!
About my delusion of Suho doing magazine modelling as a side gig – I said Si-eun felt ‘jealous’ but that doesn’t really seem like a fitting emotion for Si-eun.
I’m thinking of revising it to Si-eun feeling ‘slightly uncomfortable’ when I post it on my blog later. Maybe to satisfy my lol oil money sources lol audience who might cover my blog maintenance costs (I’m kidding) – just trying to make you laugh!
If Suho had actually been keen on the entertainment industry (really, there’s no way those Gangnam recruiters would’ve left that face alone… they’re not blind after all), Si-eun would’ve been his most enthusiastic supporter.
I got tomorrow off.
I’m making a video right now – it’s a DP and Weak Hero crossover analysis.
The quality is still not very good, but I feel like I finally poured out everything I’ve been wanting to say.
The main topic of this video is ‘windbreaker’, which will probably make you chuckle.
Your bricklayer Jen
Guardian Deities and September Scents
Hi Jennie,I will definitely catch the vid when it comes out.
Here’s a small bowl to keep you warm first:
1.
Although he feigned being exasperated with his most persistently ill patient, the truth was that Dr Yeon very much looked forward to Mr Ahn disrupting his routines. On days when he did not visit because of work demands, Dr Yeon felt the time crawl by. Such days were random, and he always feared Mr Ahn had been injured at his work site.
He remembered the ice-cold days of Suho’s coma. Days of numbness and sadness that stretched into weeks and then months. Dr Yeon could endure medical school and military service, including a little-known stint in Iraq that had lasted for five years; even before that, he already had the grit to weather the ruthless bullying of his high school days. But if anything ever happened to Suho again, Dr Yeon knew he would fall apart. This was the one thing he could not bear.
The trauma of years ago had not been expunged, only buried with work and kept out of the waking world. But it lived on in Dr Yeon’s dreams. Whenever it visited in the silence of tired nights, he became Si-eun the high schooler again, the boy who gained the world and lost it. During the six halcyon years living with Suho after Eunjang High, he sometimes woke up shivering with sharp breaths, damp with sweat.
He would then lurch to the desk, weak from the weight of bad dreams, and memorize anatomical notes as a way back to sleep while he waited for Suho to return from his delivery runs. When Suho punched in their shared door code, Si-eun would open his half-closed eyes and shuffle to the entrance where Suho took his shoes off.
He loved early autumn in particular, when his hair stood up from the static (that never failed to draw a smile from Suho). Suho’s windbreaker would be saturated with the crisp air of dawn. Si-eun would hold him tight and breathe in the scents of September, of Seoul, and of Suho. It chased all the boogeymen away.
On days when Suho stayed home, the terrors weakened, as if out of respect for the presence of a guardian deity, though they still persisted. But with Suho around, when an attack came, Si-eun would awake to find himself in Suho’s arms. In summer this could be uncomfortably warm, but the nightmares chilled Si-eun from within, so he was always deeply grateful for the snuggle, and sweated out the remainder of his sleep with a light smile.
The comforting embraces happened because Suho, who slept in class like a log, would rouse instinctively upon hearing Si-eun’s soft whimpers and half-formed sleep words. Sometimes he heard Beomseok’s name. Once, he heard “don’t die Suho please”, and in the thick darkness where a dreaming Si-eun could not see him, Suho’s toughness broke apart as he cried silently and hugged the precious, wounded soul that had curled into a fetal position. He wet Si-eun’s hair with his tears as he kissed the top of his head. “I’m here, I’m here. Si-eun-ah, I’m here,” he had whispered over and over until Si-eun’s breathing eased.
That alone had made him want to quit night delivery work, but when he discussed it with Si-eun the next morning, the boy genius had dismissed the idea.
Day delivery work is more dangerous; it’d give me more nightmares if anything. Plus, they’re just dreams. They can’t do a thing.
They can crush your soul, thought Suho. But he downplayed his own worries.
Awww, but I just want to hug my favorite bolster.
Don’t think I don’t know you are rubbing yourself on your favorite bolster.
You were awake? Why didn’t you say so? We could have eaten some ice-cream.
Oh, you bought some?
asked Si-eun brightly, hoping Suho had brought back some Melona from the neighborhood mart.
No, but we have popsicles full of fresh cream don’t we?
replied Suho with a twinkle, staring below Si-eun’s waist.
Mine is sea-salt caramel, yours is vanilla.
… … yah… Ahn Suho…you…you must be the healthiest guy in this neighborhood, really.
That morning, they had dessert for breakfast. It also chased the boogeymen away.
Cross-Cultural Dialogue with Asuka
Sorry for the weird drama, you can ignore the last three emails including this one.
I just checked the sent mail again, and all the sentences are intact, even from the first sending. I have no idea why…
I feel like I’m being pranked by gmail, like what the heck hahahaha
Glitch in the matrix I tell you.
fr! Don’t worry
I’m just happy I got to read what’s sure to be the most thrilling chapter three times!
Just uploaded a new vid and now I’m heading to shower.
Burned the midnight oil for the first time in a while.
Time to get ready for bed while sipping the tea you brewed for me.
Hi Asuka,
I archived everything on my blog before Big Brother Google could collapse our arc lol
I wanted to fit everything in one post, but apparently Google loves giving users drama – couldn’t add any more text to the first post, so I had to split it into part two.
Added some black and white photos while updating too.
Since everything on the blog is a feast of metaphors, allegories, and allusions, I guess I wanted the photos to also have that film photography vibe that oscillates between reality and unreality, haha.
Time to slowly savour the soup you’ve brewed this weekend – with my amateur critique, I’ll put my heart into making your new hot tea come to a boil.
Oh, to answer your question about BL… like I mentioned before, it’s like saying ‘(there’s actually enough food to bend the table) there’s not much prepared, but please eat a lot.’
So basically… this country… has tons of euphemisms and double-speak. I’ve watched many relocated foreign colleagues around me struggle with these Korean linguistic quirks.
People probably love BL as a commercial product but find ‘actual’ BL burdensome.
Especially here, where they hush-hush about checking out, mental health issues, and homosexuality – though for #1, it’s already well-known we’re world champions.
For mental health issues… probably everyone’s suffering but no one talks about it openly. Looking too weak to be responsible for anything at work isn’t a penalty anyone wants.
And the last one? No one’s opening up because that’s just easier for everyone…
Yet it’s ironic that BL content is the hottest-selling thing in the media industry.
Jen
Oh my,
I just saw the picture of that popsicle sticking up in the sun hahahahahaha it’s so pretty and so funny at the same time.
Thanks for enhancing the visits to the clinic (and to grannie’s house) with these tasteful pictures. They do have that summer dream vibe. So authentic.
I did have a feeling BL as an artistic product is very hot selling in Korea. I was more curious what the attitude to actual BL relationships is. I gathered that more than 1/4 of Korea identifies as some sort of Christian (the largest percentage of the East Asian countries), and Christianity is generally disapproving of BL. But I suspect the true resistance to actual BL is due to a strong cultural conservatism that runs through the country, rather than religious reasons. This might make reading and watching BL kind of like secretly enjoying forbidden fruit, no? (I could be very wrong here. This is all pure speculation from someone who can’t even speak Korean. I hope I am not being very offensive!)
BL is also very hot selling in Japan, where there are entire buildings devoted to selling such literature (to a mostly female clientele). But as for actual BL relationships, in Japan, no one really cares one way or another. They say Japan is highly homogenized and ‘hive-minded’ rather than individualistic….mmmm….. yes and no, in fact I lean more to ‘no.’ It’s more like, the (city) Japanese try to mind their own business and not care about their neighbors’ preferences. So reading BL openly in, say, Akihabara or Shinjuku doesn’t have the effect of tasting forbidden fruit. And real BL dating, or being a person like Nina from DP… city people don’t really care, it’s like ‘you do you’.
Not sure why I wanted to explore this haha
I guess I wanted to ‘feel the milieu’ better, to know what Si-Eun and Suho have chosen to live through (even though it’s happening in deluluverse.)
Oh and soup Part 2 should be boiled within the next two days.
Head nurse, kitchen prepping
Hi Asuka,
Sitting in a cafe before my commute home, waiting for the train and grinning like an idiot reading your email.
That Melona popsicle is probably older than I am – it’s been Korea’s beloved stick treat for decades. I pictured our two puppies sharing one: Si-eun holding the wooden stick while early-twenties Suho devours more than half. I imagined them walking home after boxing practice by the Han River, their silhouettes fading into the distance… (suddenly all my work frustrations just melted away…)
Found that photo on Pinterest.
I was envisioning their place – the house Suho’s grandma left him, somewhere in Seoul’s old quarters, shabby and weathered. Beom-seok’s family obviously lives in some posh villa overlooking the Han from Gangnam or central Seoul. Si-eun’s parents probably made a strategic move to Gangnam’s most academically competitive district right before he started high school.
For Suho to attend Byeoksan High… assuming school districts go by address, he’d need to be in the Gangnam zone, so he and grandma probably rented space there. So when I’m dreaming up this house in delululand where college-aged Si-eun and high-schooler-again Suho live together – grandma’s only inheritance in some forgotten, undeveloped corner of Seoul, all rickety and worn – I’m thinking “this doesn’t quite add up…” but what can we do? HAHAHA
And if our two puppies are going to bloom their romance in grandma’s old house, there definitely won’t be any fancy keypad locks to punch. Instead, Suho will come home from his delivery runs in Seoul’s bitter October dawn air, pushing open that paint-chipped jade or blue metal gate. The screech of metal will reach Si-eun’s ears as he waits with his anatomy books. (Ah… drowning in the depths of delusion again, lol)
Oh, and Korea’s fortunate to have almost zero religious conflict. (For a divided nation sandwiched between superpowers like Japan and China, with our geographically cursed location, adding religious strife would just be cruel…) Being ethnically homogeneous helps… but it’s less about religious influence and more about deep-rooted Confucian culture. We obsess over “face” – how we appear to others.
Si-eun’s mother is exactly that type, I think.
The first thing she did when she brought her son home in S2 was stage loving mother-son photos. Both gorgeous and smiling tenderly, sure, but her son was actually lying awake with severe depression and guilt. She doesn’t even know he’s carrying the weight of Suho’s lost youth, something he can’t afford to bear.
The subtitles said “Your friend Suho’s grandmother came looking for you,” but it was actually “That grandmother of your friend named ‘Suho’ came looking for you.” Si-Eun probably didn’t elaborate, but maybe she lacks the bandwidth to look deeper into her son’s heart, or instinctively senses it might stray from her idea of “normal” and chooses not to know.
Still, Si-eun leaving for Singapore to study, leaving Suho behind for his mother’s sake – that was striking. He’s such a warm kid.
Wow, I’m all over the place… Anyway, having many Japanese colleagues gave me lots of cultural insights. Japan is definitely much more open about sexuality and treats it as recreation. In Korea, we’re too busy worrying about others’ opinions to enjoy things openly. People get uncomfortable when sexual topics come up in groups. This probably won’t change, and honestly, I don’t think it needs to.
I’m a local here too, but honestly I don’t expect much from this country. I just… live here because I was born here, haha
Head nurse, I’ll savor the soup Part 1 you’ve brewed during my train ride home.
Jen
Mine is sea-salt caramel, yours is vanilla
Your soup kept me warm on the train.
I was grinning so hard that the grandma across from me kept staring lol
Here’s my amateur take on your soup – as always, humour me
Hope your busy weekend tastes like sea-salt caramel.
“Although he feigned being exasperated with his most persistently ill patient…”
Dr. Yeon secretly wants his patient to never get better. What a terrible doctor, right?
“On days when he did not visit… Dr Yeon felt the time crawl by.”
This scheming doctor… time “crawling” by… Will he ever get needy enough to pout at Mr. Ahn? I read this viral tweet about all those texts Si-eun sent to comatose Suho… perfect spelling, every single one… felt like he was being needy. Broke my heart reading it.
Makes me wonder – did Suho read them all after waking up? How did that feel?
“He remembered the ice-cold days of Suho’s coma.”
Clinging to life support… barely hanging on by threads, the adults pieced together… my chest hurts again…
“Days of numbness and sadness that stretched into weeks and then months”
That puffy face from too many sleeping pills. Arms that wouldn’t sync with his steps. Empty expression… except when he’d spot traces of Suho in Baku, Gotak, Jun-tae… (I’m covering my face)
“Dr Yeon could endure medical school and military service, including a little-known stint in Iraq…”
Med school girls swooning, med school guys seething with jealousy… then Iraq, where his surgical skills made him untouchable… (getting hot just imagining it)
“The trauma of years ago had not been expunged, only buried…”
Si-eun will never experience anything more intense again (and “intense” feels deliberately loaded here…). So in his mundane daily life, he’s not physically limping like Dr. Watson, but mentally he’s pushing it all down into the dark depths…
“During the six halcyon years living with Suho after Eunjang High…”
“Halcyon years” breaks and mends my heart. Is this all just a dream?
I imagine Si-eun sometimes gently tracing Suho’s eyebrows while he sleeps, just to prove it’s real.
“When Suho punched in their shared door code…”
In that shabby house – grandma’s only inheritance – there’d be no fancy keypad, just Suho pushing through that paint-chipped jade metal gate. But still, Si-eun shuffling toward his returning Suho? Heart-wrenching and adorable. (Melting again)
“It chased all the boogeymen away.”
I knew you’d love Suho’s windbreaker soaked in Seoul autumn air. Thank you for that.
They say smell is the sense that never lets you go.
“But with Suho around… Si-eun would awake to find himself in Suho’s arms.”
You can’t see while sleeping, but in dreams, the boogeymen keep tormenting him. So, reading it as a sleeping child, calming down to familiar scents? Pure romance.
“Once, he heard ‘don’t die, Suho please’”
(Eyes getting misty) Does Si-eun know that Suho hears his sleep talk…? No way…
“Don’t think I don’t know you are rubbing yourself on your favorite bolster.”
He doesn’t know Suho hears his sleep talk, but somehow knows perfectly well that Suho uses him as a pillow and sometimes rubs against him pretty hard??
“No, but we have popsicles full of fresh cream don’t we?”
Si-eun could never make jokes like this to Suho, but Suho can throw out these cheeky lines… makes me tingle with joy.
“Mine is sea-salt caramel, yours is vanilla.”
I understood this metaphor instantly and need to confess this sin at church this Sunday
“…yah… Ahn Suho… you must be the healthiest guy in this neighborhood, really.”
Guess they won’t need milk delivery service. (Monthly/yearly milk subscriptions delivered at dawn are common here – I still use one)
“It also chased the boogeymen away.”
Even the boogeymen fled from watching these two puppies do their morning mouth exercises 😂
GPT could never match the sweetness, wit, and romance of your secret notes.
With respect,
Jen
Curious… Did both puppies work their mouths at the same time? Or was one puppy busy with his tongue while the other had tears in his eyes, mouth open? If the former, then one spoon was facing south while the other faced north.
While Si-eun was distracted, Suho snatched his popsicle and went to work – all lips and tongue, very thorough about cleanup. Si-eun trembled, helpless against those fighter hands that could crack walnuts. Once caught in that grip, game over. Face burning with embarrassment as things got messy, Si-eun begged for mercy. The victorious fighter just smirked, “Let it go.”
(They’ll definitely need to time-travel for that towel from Dr. Yeon’s clinic)
Cheeky Jen
All the boogeymen away
“Although he feigned being exasperated with his most persistently ill patient…”
(J) Dr. Yeon secretly wants his patient to never get better. What a terrible doctor, right?
hahaha actually I need your interior design consultation again.
I think at this point, it looks like the two aren’t living together (yet). I picture this could be that Yeon Clinic premises are a little far from Mr Ahn’s current place. Is it reasonable for Mr Ahn to still be at his grannie’s? Should Dr Yeon move back in, or should they buy something new together?
“On days when he did not visit… Dr Yeon felt the time crawl by.”
(J) This scheming doctor… time “crawling” by… Will he ever get needy enough to pout at Mr. Ahn? I read this viral tweet about all those texts Si-eun sent to comatose Suho… perfect spelling, every single one… felt like he was being needy. Broke my heart reading it.
Makes me wonder – did Suho read them all after waking up? How did that feel?
Oh!! I’ve often thought of this too! Humour my multiverse-deluluverse alternative (may Grandmasters Han and Yoo remain in good health and not flip like fish upon the creation of this non-canon taster):
It wasn’t the hospital that called Si-eun in S2 ep 8. That has its own special ringtone. It turns out it was just some insurance sales call that he promptly rejected, ‘I’m just a student.’
Si-eun doesn’t turn on his messaging app notifications, because they are a distraction. I mean, at this point he doesn’t even allow himself to get turned on, reciting Newtonian mantras when necessary. His Eunjang gang all know the best way to contact him is to call him directly or catch him physically and drag him to karaoke or whatnot.
But the insurance call leads him to think of bad injuries, and that leads him to think of Suho. So he checks his messages to Suho out of reflex, like he has always done a million times before, but this time he sees a reply.
“Hey it’s been a while”
Suddenly the whole world goes completely silent. His heart and breath quicken as the adrenaline kicks in.
And then he flies off the stands without a second thought. The Eunjang boys are alarmed, of course, and they run after him.
But the wind beneath Si-eun’s wings has returned. He races ahead faster than ever before, his hair blown back. Baku is shocked at his speed; Gotak’s knee acts up so he can’t go much faster; poor hamster Juntae’s lungs are about to explode.
And then Si-eun sees his light. As radiant as ever.
Baku tells him to go ahead. Respectfully, the Eunjang gang give him space. At some level they have always known the bond between the two boys runs so deep it is sacred.
At first Si-eun smiles with shiny, misty eyes. He’s so happy. He makes small talk about his new friends. His mind hasn’t fully understood what he is seeing.
It’s only after, when he gets even closer, and kneels to embrace Suho that the Eunjang gang realizes he is crying. It starts with little gasps, and then becomes loud, guttural sobs.
All the guilt, all the regret, and all the happiness pours out at once. He collapses against the bigger boy, weakened from almost two years of coma. “I’ve missed you. So, so much. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry…”
It turns out Grannie was the first point of contact, and she was so overjoyed that she rushed to the hospital and forgot to call Si-eun.
Later while tending to Suho she suddenly remembers his dear friend who came to visit almost every night. “Oh I must tell Si-eun now.”
And Suho stops her. He wants to be the one to reach Si-eun. And before he does that, he reads every single one of Si-eun’s texts.
“Days of numbness and sadness that stretched into weeks and then months”
(J) That puffy face from too many sleeping pills. Arms that wouldn’t sync with his steps. Empty expression… except when he’d spot traces of Suho in Baku, Gotak, Jun-tae… (I’m covering my face)
Everywhere I go, I see you. I recall Si-eun having these brief flashbacks of Suho in the last seven minutes of S2 ep 1. It feels like a form of grieving to me. Heartbreaking…
“The trauma of years ago had not been expunged, only buried…”
(J) Si-eun will never experience anything more intense again (and “intense” feels deliberately loaded here…). So in his mundane daily life, he’s not physically limping like Dr. Watson, but mentally he’s pushing it all down into the dark depths…
I think so too. I read some translations of his chats to comatose Suho, and it seems in one he asks “ and i’m taking sleeping pills… suho if you woke up i wonder if i would not do that anymore. i don’t know. even if it’s the doctor or someone else… suho if they told me when you’ll wake up…would my heart be more at ease? that too… i don’t know.”
It seems he senses he has been so traumatized by the violence committed against his dearest person on the earth, that even if Suho woke up, the nightmares may not cease. Incidentally this sort of PTSD is totally real.
“During the six halcyon years living with Suho after Eunjang High…”
“Halcyon years” breaks and mends my heart. Is this all just a dream?
I imagine Si-eun sometimes gently tracing Suho’s eyebrows while he sleeps, just to prove it’s real.
Oh my, that’s so sweet hahaha ok I’m sold
“When Suho punched in their shared door code…”
In that shabby house – grandma’s only inheritance – there’d be no fancy keypad, just Suho pushing through that paint-chipped jade metal gate. But still, Si-eun shuffling toward his returning Suho? Heart-wrenching and adorable. (Melting again)
Ah, yes, when part 2 is cooked, I shall edit part 1 and re-release it, interior designer’s deluxe cut.
“It chased all the boogeymen away.”
I knew you’d love Suho’s windbreaker soaked in Seoul autumn air. Thank you for that.
They say smell is the sense that never lets you go.
Ah, no, no, thank you, Jennie. That was a really inspired passage, so fragrant with life.
Yes, they do say smell is the one sense that can take you back all the way to your earliest childhood.
“But with Suho around… Si-eun would awake to find himself in Suho’s arms.”
You can’t see while sleeping, but in dreams, the boogeymen keep tormenting him. So, reading it as a sleeping child, calming down to familiar scents? Pure romance.
“Once, he heard ‘don’t die Suho please’”
(Eyes getting misty) Does Si-eun know that Suho hears his sleep talk…? No way…
Suho just tells Si-eun that he knows Si-eun is having nightmares. But he doesn’t say ‘I know you dream of Beomseok.’ Or ‘I know you carry guilt that I almost died.’ That’s just so hard for boys to talk about to each other, even boys who love each other. I think especially boys who love each other.
“Don’t think I don’t know you are rubbing yourself on your favorite bolster.”
He doesn’t know Suho hears his sleep talk, but somehow knows perfectly well that Suho uses him as a pillow and sometimes rubs against him pretty hard?
HAHAHA this is just me running with post-Eunjang Si-eun who has developed a bit of cheek from fermenting his mind with Baku’s rambling.
I think Si-eun wakes up way earlier than Suho, but just lies there in his arms. Occasionally he feels a prod that he knows isn’t coming from Suho’s thumbs. It’s probably just a morning thing, but sometimes Suho is clearly awake…
Not that deluluverse Si-eun minds hur hur hur…
“No, but we have popsicles full of fresh cream don’t we?”
Si-eun could never make jokes like this to Suho, but Suho can throw out these cheeky lines… makes me tingle with joy.
“Mine is sea-salt caramel, yours is vanilla.”
I understood this metaphor instantly and need to confess this sin at church this Sunday
HAHAHAHAHA
I’m honestly not sure how a priest would receive this confession haha
In any case, sea-salt caramel and vanilla should be a very tasteful mix…
“…yah… Ahn Suho… you must be the healthiest guy in this neighborhood, really.”
Guess they won’t need milk delivery service. (Monthly/yearly milk subscriptions delivered at dawn are common here – I still use one)
Ah interesting! I don’t think I have seen many (or any) milkmen in k-dramas before.
“It also chased the boogeymen away.”
Even the boogeymen fled from watching these two puppies do their morning mouth exercises.
—
GPT could never match the sweetness, wit, and romance of your secret notes.
With respect,
Your Jen
As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment.
Sincerely,
ASL, still busy brewing.
P.S.
I saw that the South China Morning Post ran a May 14th 2025 article, taken from Hankook Ilbo, on both DP and Weak Hero. It talks about Director Han and tries to draw some parallels about the two dramas.
While I’m always glad for major publications giving more credit and attention to DP and WH, the depth of the article is nothing close to your analysis.
May your blog survive till the end of time.
Come kiss hyung and find out
Si-eun felt strangely drained yet invigorated. He plopped onto the wooden floor in a daze. They had both been tired and busy, so his energy had been pent up for two weeks.
He noticed the floor was clean. Suho had taken every last drop.
And now he faced the daunting task of eating as well as Suho did.
It was not as easy as he thought.
How do you get it all in one mouthful? Is there a trick to the angle?
Si-eun asked.
The angle? No angle in the world will disguise the fact that not all servings are made equal. Mine is a good two inches more generous.
No, it’s not!! And stop smirking or else I’ll bite.
And with his quick and powerful memory, Si-eun repeated what he learnt, and was quickly rewarded with sea-salted caramel. Suho wasn’t kidding. Which only meant he must have tasted his own cooking!
But this got Si-eun really curious about himself.
Erm… you know… do I really taste of vanilla.
Come kiss hyung and find out.
Hahahaha
Ah, the dessert-breakfast to die for. This is what I call a Happy Meal.
Asuka, most fulfilled.
That walnut bit was totally inspired by your previous arc – I still get butterflies thinking about Suho being an MMA player before he was even fifteen. And how he had perfect control over violence too… I know the backstory about him quitting due to injury, but if that hadn’t happened, he would’ve kept going as a fighter.
Having his parents disappear to Japan for their restaurant with zero contact was probably as devastating as his shattered dreams – like, life’s biggest curveball. But instead of wallowing in self-pity, he kept his promise to grandma, never missed school, AND juggled three part-time jobs a week… He’s such a ridiculously perfect guy stereotype that we can’t help but fall head over heels (suddenly cracking up because Friday mood = peak wage slave Dobby energy…)
So after that walnut part, I actually wanted to add: “Once Suho’s hands grabbed both ankles…”
I was picturing this guppy-faced Suho casually crushing walnuts in his fist, then offering the pieces to Si-eun. Si-eun knowing those hands would never hurt his ankles, but still getting naturally tense when Suho gets that determined look and ‘decides’ he’s gonna do something, you know?
(Writing this on the train home… I honestly feel bad for this train at this point. What did it do to deserve being the venue for my delusions unfolding… LOL)
I’m slowly savoring your new arc now – my heart’s all fluttery.
Just got off work.
Ah yes, Suho has ‘a terrifying grip strength that could fracture walnuts’ hahahaha
I believe when Si-eun first saw it, it may have even triggered a defensive reflex (perhaps he instinctively put his thighs together?), even though Suho only had sweet intentions of giving him healthy walnuts.
I can totally understand the tension he feels when this vise-grip finds its way around his ankles. Hope this tension translates to excitement for the two of them.
I’m also thinking when Suho grips Si-run’s ankles, Suho must be enjoying a very unfettered view of Si-eun that probably no one else in deluluverse has seen.
Adult Life of Two Grown Puppies in Seoul
Si-eun only gets all jumpy about that grip strength around Suho, you know, the fact that Suho is behind every single one of Si-eun’s ‘firsts’ – every new emotion, every reaction – god, what a heart-fluttering narrative, right. Even in the actual show they use that metaphor of Si-eun as a newly hatched bird that can’t fly yet… Rewatching Si-eun’s entire growth arc in WHC gives me the most delicious headache lol
(Hope you’re crushing it on stage and backstage today. When you grab a quick breather, hope my rambling emails bring you a moment of joy)
Okay, so I’ve been doing some very detailed interior design for our two early-twenties puppies’ cohabitation setup on my train ride home (completely useless for my actual life but fun as hell to imagine lol).
There’s actually an invisible hand at work here… Even with Korea’s great healthcare system, nearly two years in a private room on oxygen support? That’s way beyond what Suho’s parents or grandma could afford. But after Suho wakes up, throughout those nearly two years of rehab treatment, the hospital bills and rehab costs are always mysteriously paid in full…
Both Suho and Si-eun must know who’s behind it, but they never talk about it.
From Suho’s perspective – obviously the perpetrator’s duty – he’s not exactly in a position to refuse out of pride. And when Suho was barely hanging on to that ventilator… Beom-seok definitely snuck into that room at least once, held Suho’s hand, and begged for forgiveness. I always hoped Si-eun knew about that.
Why this buildup?
Well, Suho working construction, doing delivery, even that brief modeling gig to buy Si-eun a scooter… I imagine around 23 he pivots to tile and wallpaper specialist work. This newbie suddenly gets constant high-paying gigs despite not having his technique down yet. So Suho learns fast, gets skilled quickly. His entry into the hard-to-break-into tile/wallpaper specialist world was suspiciously smooth. Wonder why? But Suho never dreams there’s an invisible hand helping again – just thinks he met some good older guys at construction who hooked him up, lucky streak of steady work.
Suho’s pretty one-dimensional that way, doesn’t read beyond what’s right in front of him. Time passes. Si-eun gets deployed to Iraq, they don’t see each other for three whole years, then Si-eun comes to Seoul once for some… intense conversation, before heading back to Iraq. By the time Si-eun returns to Seoul for good, they’re both in their early thirties. (The delusion deepens…)
But here’s where it gets interesting. Suho’s freelance business is thriving – he’s already got his own place near Jongno-gu (I’ve placed it near Anguk Station in my fantasy – near Gyeongbok Palace, I’ll attach photos because there are gorgeous hanoks there and it’s the perfect area for two thirty-something puppy boys to date…)
Always pushing my financially savvy Suho agenda, he’s actually more established than Si-eun by this point. When Si-eun wants to be close to Suho (kid has zero interest in investing…) and decides to open a clinic in the busy Jongno area, that’s serious money in a business district… But when he visits the first realtor, they immediately recommend this ‘urgent sale’ listing… There’s absolutely no way a half-price urgent sale spot would be available in that area.
Si-eun never suspects a thing, just thinks it’s ‘luck,’ so he opens his family medicine practice (randomly switching to family medicine lol – in the ocean of delusion, anything’s possible, like Harry Potter’s Room of Requirement. Neurology could work too – pain clinics are everywhere) right in the business district. Wonder why… My fantasy of the guilty fairy godfather always hovering around these two.
Oh, that dawn milk delivery thing – people don’t really subscribe to milk companies anymore, it’s mostly dawn delivery through big online shopping platforms now. The drama probably couldn’t show that for advertising reasons. People get milk delivered along with breakfast here – online delivery basically runs the country.
Off to savour your deep, rich soup word by word. God… so good. I bet that partner puppy learned how to please from ‘books’ too. Picture this gorgeous, pretty nerd with urology textbooks spread out, studying exactly where to lick for maximum pleasure, learning everything from ‘books.’ Perfect.
First thing Suho did when he got some real money.. Bought a small building here in Anguk – first floor for his office, second floor as his living space.
All while thinking about Si-eun’s eventual return from Iraq (in my delusion lol).
And just a short walk from Anguk gets you to Jongno-gu, the biggest commercial district in northern Seoul – like Gangnam but with more old-town charm.
That’s where his clinic would be (in my fantasy world)
The business commercial district where Yeon’s clinic is located
After work – Suho’s day already wrapped up at 1 pm – Dr. Yeon and Mr. Ahn walking home together to Anguk, to Suho’s place. Old town vibes. Worn down, a bit grimy. Ungentrified. But with love tucked into every corner.
What a wealth of great pictures to fuel my fantasies! I have saved them all in my heart (and my hard drive.)
Are these places tourist friendly? Any shops and quaint eateries? (It’s just for myself to know, so I have more things to see on a holiday, otherwise I’m always getting ushered into traps in Myeongdong…)
I hope Suho’s second floor living space has good soundproofing. Si-eun, armed with urological insights from deep study, can probably make Suho sing higher notes than he ever thought possible. And Suho will surely repay the favor. What a hotbed of musical activity in Anguk.
ASL
Work done by 1pm? My god this boy is living the life. And off he goes, skippity skip to Lalaland.
In a way he deserves all the goodness in the world, after what he has gone through. His parents are shite really. I suspect if they ever show up and wonder why he is shacking up with another guy (although really cute-hot and a doctor to boot), and offer moralistic advice on how to live a proper life, Suho will totally snap and will have to be held back by Si-eun before he throws their favourite lamp or something.
Sounds like a possible arc hahahaha
Beomseok lingering far in the back and trying to mend his guilt by helping with things, means in someway the trio is still around.
Although the canoe seating arrangement is all different now: two of them are clearly facing each other (possibly even in the lotus position), while the third is clinging to the outside paddling.
If his old jealousy returns, he might try to topple the whole canoe…
Thanks for your exquisite and comprehensive interior designing!
ASL, ramen time, and dreaming of deluluverse conflicts
Feels like you’ve been to Korea a few times
Oh no… please tell me you’re not going back to Myeongdong anymore. I get it, though – I know how sneakily everything is designed to funnel foreign tourists straight there…
Next time you come, I hope you’ll wander the alleys around Gyeongbokgung Station instead.
Picture Suho’s little shop tucked away at the end of one of those alleys (totally tourist-friendly with loads of cute cafes for visitors too).
I was lying in bed, catching glimpses of your delusion fragments when your email came through – perfect bedtime reading
Tomorrow I’m sending you more, ‘thought it was an insurance salesperson but got unexpected news’ sweet fantasies plus my amateur critique of that rich, thick soup.
After that, I’ll be embracing another lovely Monday… well, one-sided Monday embrace…
Si-eun’s strategic ‘head usage’ to please Suho? Totally inspired by that gaming scene…
Look at Si-eun’s expression – he’s not playing the game, he’s studying it
Remember when Suho snapped, “Games aren’t for studying!”
hahahaha
But this time will be different.
Picture Suho: Cracking up as he watches his puppy tilt its head at that perfect 45-degree angle, completely absorbed in applying theory…
before getting absolutely wrecked and breaking into a sweat…
And Suho’s parents… why am I 100% convinced they’d throw that kind of advice at him?
Well… the biggest thing Si-eun and Beom-seok have in common is being unpredictable nutcases starved for affection. Si-eun got ‘cured’ (or seems cured) after six years of raising and being adored by his puppy.
But Beom-seok could snap out of his fairy godmother act any second – that’s the low-key thrilling undercurrent in our arc hahahaha
Maybe with all his wealth, Beom-seok’s actually been keeping those two puppies caged for a whole decade.
This is what I call a Happy Meal
Hey Asuka!
Quick thoughts on your warm soup that made my Sunday so rich
I’m just a student.
I would’ve hung up without listening, but Si-eun’s such a well-behaved boy lol
Even on the bus, when Suho yelled, ‘Hey, nerd! Where you going?’ from outside, he opened the window and replied quietly so he wouldn’t disturb others. So picturing Si-eun calmly saying ‘I’m a student, I don’t need insurance’ in that polite voice had me smile…
His Eunjang gang all know the best way to contact him is to call him directly…
Imagining Si-eun getting dragged to karaoke by Baku and Gotak is so adorable…I’m melting.
Jun-tae would probably giggle while singing Japanese anime theme songs.
But Si-eun? I picture him standing perfectly straight, gripping the mic with both hands, chanting dance songs like Buddhist prayers lol
Hey, it’s been a while
How many times did Si-eun imagine getting this reply… and then it actually came… so perfectly Suhoish… ‘It’s been a while…’
He races ahead faster than ever before
Such a beautiful, clean line…
Remember Si-eun panting as he came in last during PE at Byeoksan?
This kid… he’s good at everything when it comes to Suho…
At first Si-eun smiles with shiny, misty eyes
Saw some comment (probably YouTube) going ‘Why are these guys getting all teary-eyed lmaooo’ Made me laugh because if that commenter was a guy, he probably felt moved by the scene but expressed it sarcastically because he was embarrassed.
Saw a tweet recently about Suho seeing Si-eun’s soup and saying ‘I feel dirty’ – that scene went viral on Twitter. The tweeter said ‘Suho talks exactly like a hetero boy that age would – expressing his crush on another guy so roughly, it’s so authentically what a straight boy that age would say. Calling his feelings for his male friend ‘disgusting’ – so honest.’
He collapses against the bigger boy
At this moment, Si-eun probably said everything he wanted to say, so unlike his usual self.
To his hyung.
I read Director Yoo’s interview about this – Suho contacted Si-eun long after waking up. I get why… still wanting to look like a ‘hyung’
Still can’t walk properly but… my heart’s hurting again.
And before he does that, he reads every single one of Si-eun’s texts
OMG, just wrote about Director Yoo’s interview and here it is…
Yeah, I imagined this scene too… Si-eun’s perfectly spelled long texts… maybe written thinking Suho might never wake up… like diary entries… like confessions… and ‘childishly whining and acting spoiled’…
Incidentally this sort of PTSD is totally real
Totally agree.
I don’t think anything in Si-eun’s future will traumatize him as much.
In our delulu universe, Si-eun goes to Iraq as a military doctor, but even witnessing cruelty there won’t surpass what happened to defenceless Suho – especially Beom-seok’s kicks.
They only knew each other for around 40 days, such intense emotions came and went so fast, in the cruellest way.
Oh my, that’s so sweet hahaha ok I’m sold
Si-eun secretly checking if Suho’s real while he sleeps…
I think our personal experiences inevitably creep into our arcs HAHA
HAHAHAHAHA I’m honestly not sure how a priest would receive this confession
The priest would demand detailed recipes for why one puppy tastes like sea salt caramel and the other like milk.
May your blog survive till the end of time
Such an amazing compliment, I’m not sure I deserve it.
Thank you for your warmth.
Read that newspaper article, yeah, I always felt Director Han was a storyteller interested in systems. Military, school… now I hear he’s planning something about ‘workplace’
Hyun-wook got cast.
Both directors are clearly smitten with him.
(Hope Hyun-wook grows as an actor who can show various emotions – love, pain – on his face… Your previous comment about people wanting sex appeal from him while expecting him to be a pure saint was so spot-on… If they want sex appeal, naturally he should love more and hurt more… but the public…hopeless HAHA)
And now he faced the daunting task
God…
I imagined this scene on an early summer afternoon when they start cohabiting in Suho’s old grandma’s house.
This universe’s Si-eun no longer suffers mental issues from love-deprivation – he’s raising a puppy and being loved abundantly.
This pretty, handsome nerd who learns everything from ‘books’ is so cute, still treating it as a ‘task’
HAHA
No angle in the world will disguise the fact
Strongly agree that Suho’s popsicle costs more due to volume and size (banging gavel in court). Objection?
No, it’s not!! And stop smirking
You’d probably agree… this is basically ‘service’ you can only do out of love.
None of my friends ever felt pleasure during this… huh
It’s something you do because you love them.
On that old grandma house floor, both puppies adore each other so much they’re tangled up just wanting to make each other ‘happy’ – so sweet.
Do I really taste of vanilla?
I’m curious too. Only Si-eun who kissed hyung gets to know the recipe? lol
This is what I call a Happy Meal
Wonder if you have similar memories – waking up in the morning, a bit drained but refreshed, going to McDonald’s for breakfast together?
Your Happy Meal reminded me of that…
So when they reunite after Si-eun’s Iraq deployment
(I think they grew distant while apart – so natural… Suho probably dated pretty girls during that time, Si-eun would be cool about it, both being guys and understanding guy things)
I imagined them going to McDonald’s for coffee in the morning… like real dessert.
Suho must be enjoying a very unfettered view
Suho’s eyes are brown, kind of walnut-colored.
When he grips Si-eun’s ankles firmly, I imagine that walnut color deepening (improper but fulfilling…huhu)
If his old jealousy returns
Yeah, early-thirties romance won’t be all peaceful…
Anyway, my delusion’s low-key theory about them being ‘caged’ makes sense.
Love violent enough to kick the most beloved friend’s head won’t change much with age – that’s closer to Beom-seok’s true nature…
Your wireless bricklayer, Jen
p.s
… that brown-eyed guy when his partner, who learns everything from ‘hardcover books,’ is earnestly doing his ‘task’..
📍 Working-Class Mr. Ahn’s Unscheduled Visits to Dr. Yeon’s Clinic (3) continues…